So, we've seen 4 houses, 2 we didn't really like, 1 we liked, and 1 we LOVED.

We've arranged to see the one we loved again tomorrow afternoon, with Jonathan's parents as a second set of eyes to try and spot anything we may have missed, and some other houses in the morning.

Jonathan has persuaded me to wait until we get an evaluation from a friend of his parents on the house before we put in the offer, which makes me nervous, because this house is soooo perfect! I really don't want to lose it.... but I guess we sit and cross our fingers that it doesn't go while we're getting the silly evaluation done...

The only slightly strange thing about this house is the fact that the front door isn't on the front of the house, it's on the side.

But you walk through the door, and you see a door to the right, which is a "cloakroom" (read downstairs toilet with some pegs opposite the toilet). There's a door to the left which is a squarish kitchen, nice walls, units and flooring, big enough to fit a TINY table if we wanted to. there's a door straight ahead too, which is the door to the garage which sits under the house.

Turning right and through the door there is the living room, it's HUGE. There's stairs to the right with space underneath (perhaps for cat litter tray, although Jonathan doesn't seem too keen on this atm), and a set of French doors straight ahead overlooking the back garden. The garden is nice and neat. Has a patio nearest the house, with some grass covering the rest, except for gravelled borders around the outside with potted plants and bushes on it. I can really imagine sitting out here on a warm summer's evening, eating food from a barbecue. :) Mmmm :)

Back inside there's the staircase. Going up the staircase and turning right, there's a door to the left which is the bathroom. Light and airy, nice floor, nice walls, nice suite. There's a door infront, which is one of the larger bedrooms. Very nicely sized, and overlooks the garage and the front drive. Turn right again and along the hallway a bit and there's a door to the left and a door straight ahead. The door to the left there's the second large bedroom, which overlooks the garden. Straight ahead there's the smallest bedroom, which is still decently sized, and has a cupboard with a boiler in it. This perhaps would be a great room to put stuff for the baby - cot, changing table, and in the cupboard, clothes, nappies etc (assuming we go cloth).

The great thing about this place is the fact that the rooms are very large, considering, the garden is nice, and something I really REALLY like is the fact that we have the garage as an intregal part of the house, which means that at a later date, we have the ability to make this place larger! We could EASILY convert the garage into another room or two... perhaps half of it as an extension to the kitchen, making it a kitchen/diner, and perhaps the other half as a study.

Now, if the viewing this week (hopefully tomorrow) goes well, then we're going to tell the estate agent that we WILL be putting in an offer, but want a survey done first, and to remind the vendors that we're bottom chain buyers, who can move quickly and aim to get the mortgage through asap, so hopefully even if someone else does put in an offer midweek, we will still get it.

And, assuming all goes to plan... we can start trying for a baby next month! I'm so excited.

There's one thing I'm nervous about, I must have been drifting off to sleep last night and beginning to dream.. I dreamed that I threw my baby across the room when I was angry at it :( I'm trying to tell myself I wouldn't do such a thing, that I would try to keep my head even if I was sleep deprived and the baby just keeps screaming. That I would tell myself that the baby's just trying to tell me that it's hungry, or tired, or feeling ill, or that its nappy needs changing. And that if it got too much that I'd put it down in its cot for a few minutes til I got calmed down. I really want to be as good a mum to the children I have as Alice is to hers...

I'm also scared to tell J about this dream, incase he thinks he won't be able to trust me to look after babies. :( And also scared incase he'd be right. Trying to tell myself "it's just a dream", and that I would make a good mum, but I don't know that for sure, all I know is how much I WANT to be a mum...